I questioned how updated these profiles are because I saw multiple girls saying they moved to a different city that wasn’t Dallas… but they used to be in Dallas. This app wasn’t making it much easier for me to make friends if I had to sift through a bunch of people who weren’t interested anymore.
It makes me think that making friends might not be too different from dating
I saw a lot of girls refer to loving brunch and the Bachelor in their bio. It was pretty generic, and I was shocked that this was a thing. I found myself looking for girls who were more than these two items. If their bio had some mention of being engaged or having kids, it was an immediate left swipe for me. It went back to finding people who were in the same life stage as me, but I realized how surface level that criteria was. Just because someone had kids or a significant other didn’t mean they couldn’t be a good friend. But, there I was going through a checklist subconsciously, checking off boxes, and looking for red flags. It felt so superficial to me, but I’m sure other people were doing the same thing to me.
Maybe it was the Greek letters in their bio or their proclaimed love for wine and margs (which I like too
There’s something about the way some of these girls looked that made me think they wouldn’t want to be friends with me. .. but I don’t feel the need to profess my love for them in my profile) or their “Southern look.” On appearance alone, I didn’t think they would want to be friends with me; however, it didn’t stop me from swiping right on them, but it’s a little sad that I had these thoughts because it made me think about how shallow even friendships can be. There’s truth to birds of a feather block together, so maybe their first choice friend wouldn’t be an average looking Asian who doesn’t scream “party girl.” There’s a thought that this person looks a certain way, so I don’t pakistani mail order bride cost think we would have the same interests. This person looks a certain way, so I want to be friends with them. This person gives off a certain aura, so I want to get to know them.
I swiped until I ran out of matches and faced a screen that said “out of matches”… It felt like not that many people were using this app. Was this how some guys felt using dating apps when they reached the end of swiping through all of their potential matches? After this it was all a waiting game to see if those swipes would manifest themselves as matches.
I swiped right on quite a few people, but I only have had about eight / nine matches. A few matches expired. I don’t know why I didn’t initiate a conversation, but part of me probably thought they wouldn’t reply. Part of me was waiting for them to initiate the conversation, and part of me was growing indifferent about the possibility of finding friends through this app. The idea of someone rejecting my friendship was definitely a fear too. It made me a little insecure because I thought why don’t all of these people I swiped right on want to be friends with me? What is it about my profile that doesn’t scream friend material? I don’t linger on these thoughts, but it does make me wonder. I don’t see a lot of black, or Asian, or Hispanic women on Bumble BFF in this city, so does it have to do with my race? There’s also the possibility that the people I’m swiping right on stopped using the app. So many factors that could explain the number of matches I’ve had.
